All the answers to all the questions

Since launching SoCe Leads I've had lots of questions about my life, PCM, LOD, and many more things.  I decided to answer them all here and hope people actually read it!  Here we go...

What is SoCe Leads?

SoCe Leads is a side business that I started so I could share Process Communication Model and Leading Out of Drama with as many people as possible.

But wait, I thought you were a pastor?

Yes.  I am.  I still am a full time pastor at Woodlawn UMC in Derby.  This is just an official offering of work I've been doing for awhile.  It does not have anything to do with my work as a pastor.  

Didn't you just start a non-profit too?

Yes.  2015 is the year of starting business' didn't you hear?  I am apart of a community of people who started a non-profit called SoCe Life.  SoCe Life helps people work through vocational discernment for ministry and practices community organizing.  Check it out here:

What's with the name?

SoCe is short for SOuth CEntral.  Our intentional community started in South Central neighborhood of Wichita, KS.  We are hoping to change the narrative of a neighborhood that has been defined by violence, drugs, and prostitution.  One small part of that is a fancy hip new name....SoCe.

Who can use PCM and/or LOD?

Both of these models are context neutral.  They focus on the process of communication not the content.  This means they work for every individual, every relationship,  every profession, and in every place imaginable. 

Which tool is the best for me?  PCM or LOD?

Both!  Of course the best option is to have both tools at your disposal.  And if you are going to pick one here is how I like to differentiate them. 

PCM's greatest strength is its ability to create an environment of diversity, respect, community, and mutual understanding.  It will help you finally understand the person you connected with the least.  Using PCM you can alter your environment to motivate your team or community in a way that is positive and avoids distress.

LOD's greatest strength is its ability to address negative conflict head on.  With LOD you will learn how to use conflict to create positive change.  It will create a shared language and expectation for how your team or community navigates conflict and give you the skills to harness conflicts power for good.

How do I sign up for a class?

I am trying to offer public classes with some regularity.  The upcoming courses are found here!

What questions do you have about SoCe Leads that I haven't answered yet?  Let me know!  

Learning to be Persistent

I will never forget the first time I actually decided to be persistent.  I spent most of my life equating persistence with "being mean".  Turns out people actually like it when you are persistent and experience not as "mean" but as a sign of respect.  

This has been confirmed as I have grown the skill of persistence over the last several years.  Using tools I acquired from Leading Out of Drama by Next Element I have learned ways to authentically set boundaries, hold people accountable, and disagree with grace.  

Recently I was in a committee meeting where a person stated that the problem was that "Young people weren't contributing."  As I looked around the room I counted four people under 40 with small children at home and I knew that it was time to say something.  Previous versions of myself would have allowed the comment to pass and only to bring it up in the parking lot latter with people who I knew would agree with me.  Instead I was able to do the following:

1. Check yourself before you wreck yourself.  This was the self talk that happened before opening my mouth.  The comment made me angry, and I wanted this person to know that.  I wanted to recognize the young people in the room with me and I wasn't comfortable moving on until it was addressed.

2. Speak Up.  Once touching base internally you actually have to say something.  Here is a paraphrase of my statement: I find that comment offensive.  There are young people in this room, myself included, that work very hard to help our team.  I am interested doing more research on this problem and finding helpful solutions.  Let's stick to our mission of including all people and not single out groups anecdotally.  

3. Don't freak out.  As soon as I said it I wanted to take it back and crawl back to my comfortable silence.  Not only did I hold this person responsible I was holding myself responsible and that is uncomfortable for both of us.  

4. Reap the rewards of a drama free life.  The next day the same person came into my office and told me that he thought it was the best meeting we have ever had.  He told me that it was the first time in years of working together that he really felt like I was present in the meeting.  My mind was blown.

If you are use to giving in when the pressure is on imagining speaking up in this way may be incredibly difficult.  Before Leading Out of Drama I could never have dreamed of the kind of courage it takes to stand up for myself and others in this way.  

If you want to gain these skills check out our upcoming courses and sign up today.