Here we are; the last official post of the Free to Fail Series. As a way of celebrating I wanted to share how I failed while doing 8 weeks of post about failure.
My plan was to post weekly supplemented by a weekly email and daily social media post. While I was able to maintain the blog posting, I missed one week of the email and totally blew it at daily social media post.
My struggle with social media post reveals one of my most common scripts. I am terrified of success. I already talked about this the second week of the series. Here is the sabotage process that plays out in my head.
"OK, it's time to create some social media post."
"Oh man, I don't know what to say."
"Do they really want to hear from me again?"
"What I have to say is not that unique, interesting, or worthwhile."
"I've already posted so much I'm just going to shut it down for awhile. I'll get back to it later." (AKA: I'm never going to get back to it.)
In Process Communication Model this script is well defined especially for people who share my personality structure. It is called an Almost script. I did a ton of work to get this series out, I faced my fears of doing self promotion, and I created some pretty decent content along the way. Yet, with 90% of the work done my script kicks in and I half ass the last 10% and ultimately undercut my ability to be really successful.
So here is the good news: It's never too late for now.
The way I see it this is a crucial decision point in this creative process. I've recognized a key failure and have to choose if this is shit or am I shit. The temptation is give into the script as an unmovable unchangeable force of life that defines my existence...and yes it does feel that big. If true then I have no power to overcome it and therefore no responsibility for things going differently. This of course is a lie.
In Buddhist traditions they describe this using language of attachment. Basically this is when we allow the stuff of this world will attach itself to our inner being. This is an over simplification and kind of gross metaphor but I imagine it like hooks sinking into our flesh. The more attachments we create the more we have to drag that shit around, and with every move it becomes more painful. The path ahead seems impossible.
The truth is...It's never too late for now. I get to choose right now if I am going to sink another hook into my flesh or if I am going to avoid attachment and be #FreeToFail. Yeah, I messed up along the way and I choose how things proceed from here. I can write new scripts and create new paths forward. My past screw ups do not define my worth, my value, or the value I can bring to the world going forward. I know that choosing to forge ahead opens me up to more failure, and as often as possible I will choose to re-frame those moments as potential energy for positive change.
So Failure....Bring it on.
Below are all the post I've created in the Free to Fail series. It's been an intense look at failure and it's patters. Next week I will kick off my first ever webshow. It will be an interactive 30 minutes on Facebook Live starting at noon central time. If you want to join in be sure to friend me and tune in.
- August 1: Fighting with Dragons.
- August 8: Success is My Biggest Failure
- August 16: White Male Failing
- August 23: 3 Real Life Super Embarrassing Failures
- August 30: Book Review: Rise by Sarah Lewis
- Sept. 6: Crushing the Second Attempt
- Sept. 13: Shame Shame Go Away, Come Again...Never
- Sept. 20: Never Too Late for Now
- Sept. 27: Facebook Live Webshow at Noon
Each post will show up on Wednesdays. On Friday the post will be followed by a Tune In Tip. These weekly tips will share a practice you can try in real life. Finally the whole series will end with a webinar where we can discuss the topic in real time.
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